She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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