even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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