Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
