R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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