He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize