Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
