my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
