I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
