Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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