If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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