To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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