Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is Oprah even human
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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