Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
