she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
