The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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