so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
