Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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