The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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