Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i've created a new STD.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
