i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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