dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
