youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
