He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
