just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
