You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
