Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I want a musical about memes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
