Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize