Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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