Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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