Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
