handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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