Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
