What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
