i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize