That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize