Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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