True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
