Nicole vs. Life
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
