We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
