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• (936): View more from Texas

  im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.

  (360): View more from Washington

  DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me

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• (914): View more from New York

  Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?

  (765): View more from Indiana

  It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that

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• (310): View more from California

  Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend

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