Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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