He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
