i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
