8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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