His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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