: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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