but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
