my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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