I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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