Your mouth is God's brothel.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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