I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
