sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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