I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
