do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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